Disappointed in last night’s session. Supremely, actually. Didn’t print. Didn’t produce a single standalone. Tonight, not same. Going to surprise Self, like the other night when I ordered those two espresso shots after dinner. 8:41am, my now-time. Need a 4shotter, this morning. And a scone. Dinner at Particular Palates, tonight. Think Mom said pizza. Going to stop at Kenwood Market pick up new red. Wine’s presence tonight, heavily censored. May brew coffee when I get home. Where’s my Comp Book?– In bag, of course. Pulled both ‘black and white’ well as ‘lecture log’. Consolidation, tonight. Also, uploading all thoughts to blog.. short posts, reading like poems. 34, 3 days away. Need battle plan in motion. No more excuses.
Last night, angering me. Disappointed in Self. Maybe I should leave early today. Other employees, “managers” even, do it frequently. Something to about think, heartily.
10:23pm. Back from Mom and Dad’s. Hoping to go to bed early, so I can wake same. right around the time Jackie usually rises. Stopped at Safeway, to pickup some Little Sumpin’ Ale, for night’s cap. Didn’t want to open wine, too much alc. Didn’t get a chance to buy ink cart’, as we left too late, and I didn’t have time enough to drive to Bennet Valley to stop at CVS, to buy the 92 [black ink cartridge no.]. So, tonight, all2blog. MY only aim: one meaningful post. Watching a writing documentary, so me…
This bottle, showing more muscle than it did last time I it tasted. More musical, almost wine-like. Tried 2 new wines at parents’ casa. Feel ready for bed, especially after today, how busy it was. Didn’t take many notes, from all the motion, traffic, frenzy.. people storm.. sipping panic. Was interesting. Was disturbed at store down block, seeing wine as an “end-cap,” minimized to a piece of merchandise. When I have my own label, I won’t produce much, so my wine’ll never be in such position. But even if I did “mass-produce,” I’d never allow my art to be minimized to a simple salable piece. Just made me sad, seeing that by their register.
Internal conflagration: music, beneficially. Think I may be compromised, by exhaustion. Should be writing for verse. Don;t have time for this formalism, really. Another sip.. realizing I should turn off this documentary, only listen to music. Auditory, no visual.. no?
Can’t wait for my next run. When will that be? Distraction, in these late hours. In early morrows, only honestly, simplicity.. poetic purity, really. Same4prose. Need to be a musician.. the Literary songwriter, tonight. Both Comp Books, right at Left. For me, ready. Tomorrow, could call in. But I can’t, as I need these checks to finance the studio’d efforts from this writer. Cranky, as I was today, at shift’s beginning.
This morning, woke at 5:50-something, A.M. Should have stayed awake. But, went upstairs, back2sleep. Tomorrow, waking at 5:30am. No argument. IF I’m 2B a serious penner, then I should such execute. Should go to bed, anyway, as my attention’s web span isn;t something enviable, impressive. Maybe I should just enjoy this doc.. OR, switch movies. Watch “Secret Window.” Haven’t seen that in a while. Used 2B my go-to Writing movie. How about a “revisit?”
(5/26/13)
